Obsolete by Anna Jane Grossman

Author:Anna Jane Grossman
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Abrams Image
Published: 2010-12-20T16:00:00+00:00

LANDFILLS

Areas created to store solid waste and mafia snitches, now highly regulated and even banned in some cities; a prettier word than “dump”; used to a great extent before all things became recyclable and peace reigned on Earth.

LANDLINES

Aural communication devices dating back to the late nineteenth century; considered largely indispensable, but often regarded with mixed feelings. As stated in the Standard in 1885: “There is some ground for hope the instrument may be improved out of existence shortly … and human life would once more return to those happier phases it knew before [Alexander Graham Bell] undertook to revolutionize it.”

• • •

Not long ago, the idea of surviving without a home phone was unthinkable. We lived by the pulse of the rotary dial and the blinking, red hold button. We thrilled at all the opportunities and lives that existed between the covers of phonebooks (which, when retired, made decent booster seats). Even the cords, which eventually could be loosened enough so that they’d stretch through three rooms, were kind of sacrosanct: When they got knotted, we lovingly detangled them, or bought clever attachments to keep them from bunching up. Then there were all the lovely accoutrements: the silver phone dialers that acted as elegant finger-extenders, the telephone tables with a built-in seats you could wait at while you mentally coaxed the phone to ring, and Rolodexes (see page 148) that you’d casually leave flipped open to your most important contact. Getting rid of it all would be an abomination. Why not just go ahead and extinguish the sun?

Sure the apparatus had its flaws: Phone companies charged per minute, and the long distance costs could stack up quickly. Busy signals made you wonder if your grandmother was on the phone or if she’d collapsed and knocked the receiver off the hook; heavy breathers left you feeling violated. It also wasn’t always possible to have a truly private conversation over the phone. In the days when operators connected calls and separate families shared lines, you never knew who was going to listen in; he who planned a rendezvous behind his wife’s back would have to develop a kind of code with his lover—one ring meant it was on, two would indicate a no-go. College students who wanted to escape the ears of a roommate either had to pull the receiver into the bathroom or else find a phone booth on another floor (although that meant gambling that it wouldn’t be stuffed with half a dozen kids trying to set a record).

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.